Lengthy post alert:
I have resisted chiming into this thread for a variety of reasons – mostly I don’t feel qualified to comment on the details of an ongoing investigation. FWIW, I agree with desbcoach – knowing what I do about his personal life, I wouldn’t want someone like that on the team. I am not taking a moral high ground here, but his bedroom behavior has repeatedly escalated to the point that women are filing complaints, and this would inevitably be a distraction for the team as well as for Bauer which could impact him on the field. That said, I am reluctant to use this as a disqualifying criterion if the M’s were considering adding him to the team. I would not want MLB to start unpacking the private lives of players to use as the basis of a determination to make offers or to make trades. But things are different if lines are crossed, and allegations of abuse are both evident and substantiated.
We can debate the evidence, but the fact is none of us have access to all of the evidence of ongoing litigation. However, I would remind us of two important facts: first, physical abuse does not always leave visible marks. There was apparently video of one of the victims the morning after the alleged assault in which no visible bruising was evident. According to the complaint, Bauer punched her in the head and vagina during sex. A video from a cell phone framing only the face may not show bruising, even if it had started to appear at this point. Second, just because there is not enough evidence for a DA to move forward with criminal charges, there may still be enough evidence for civil litigation. I would remind us all of the OJ Simpson case – there was a mountain of physical evidence linking OJ to the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, and yet a jury exonerated him in the criminal case against him. Two years later, OJ was convicted in a civil case filed by the families of the victims – a conviction based largely on the same evidence presented in his criminal case. So the fact that the DA dropped charges on Bauer should not be interpreted as full exoneration. Or of guilt, for that matter.
Please allow me to digress a bit here about matters that are personal to me, but related to this case and to comments made on this board. People who are very close to me have been the victims of domestic battery. Some of these people endured abuse for years before finally finding the courage to leave their abusers. These people have told moving stories about the shame and embarrassment they feel about their abuse and their inability to leave their relationships. There is a simple, unavoidable fact that emerges from the stories of women who are victims of domestic abuse – men invariably wield the power in the relationship. There is a physical and emotional and often financial disparity that exists, and the balance of power is almost always tipped in the hands of the man in the relationship. While the reasons why women find it so hard to leave abusive relationships varies, the balance of power is a mitigating factor. In the Bauer case, this balance is even more disproportionate – he is a celebrity (meaning all of the details of the abuse are discussed in the media and retweeted on social media and dissected on discussion boards which amplifies the feelings of embarrassment and recalcitrance by the purported victims), and he is a man with almost limitless financial means (meaning he can hire the best lawyers like OJ did to defend himself – which is fine in the sense that he is entitled to whatever legal representation he wants, but there will be an inevitable disparity in the legal defense his victims can afford).
While some may find the Me Too movement tiresome or unreasonable or whatever – the simple fact is that there would not be a Me Too movement if the playing field was always level. The movement itself is the product of brave women who are victims of sexual assault, rape and discrimination finally coming forward, telling their stories and facing their accusers. While some of these cases will inevitably be overstated or the product of baseless accusations (as any social movement is), the vast majority are legitimate complaints against abusers and a culture that emboldens and protects them.
If the balance of power were equal, and men were equally subjected to abuse, pay disparity, rape, assault and misconduct by their female counterparts, there would not be a social movement like Me Too.
Is there a basis to the claims of his abusers? I don’t know. None of us know. The claims of the 3 purported victims may be baseless. But they may not. And we should not lose sight of the fact that Bauer is not a victim here. He has admitted to physical violence that is inconsistent with MLB’s Joint Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault and Child Abuse Policy. Rather than discretely allowing this to work its way through the justice system, he is wielding his celebrity using social media as a bully pulpit to embarrass his purported victims, shaming them into recanting or withdrawing accusations, and countersuing as a form of legal retaliation (a strategy that figured into MLB’s decision to punish him). And I will remind us all that filing criminal charges and seeking restraining orders against abusers by victims of sexual assault is
not gold digging. And if Bauer is, in fact guilty, a civil suit seeking punitive damages is also not gold digging either – and if you think it is, tell that to the families of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. Ask them how happy they are with the money they got from OJ.
I know this is a bit of rant, but I am unapologetic. As I say, I know women who are the victims of horrible domestic abuse. They are smart, accomplished, talented, amazing women, and the question of why they didn’t leave after the first slap, punch, kick or instance of verbal and emotional abuse is complicated. But I would ask us all to consider this – how would we feel if our wives, sisters, daughters or mothers were the victims of the same sort of abuse Bauer’s purported victims have suffered. And then they found the courage to come forward only to have their accuser use their celebrity status to have every indiscretion, detail and act be played out in court of public opinion.
If Bauer is innocent and these women are merely seeking financial gain, then good for Bauer. And shame on them – they’re a discredit to the Me Too movement and to brave women who have legitimately stood up to sexual misconduct. But given the power dynamic that explicitly exists, I would urge us all to approach this with a degree of empathy and to consider the credulity of his purported victims. Is this really the way these women choose to be remembered? Is exploiting a social movement that empowers women to speak out against social and sexual injustice really the best strategy for ensuring personal financial gain? Would we be feeling differently if it was our sisters that were involved?
For those who are interested, there is an excellent article on this in the Washington Post (sorry there’s a paywall):
https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2 ... n-dodgers/
Let's all agree never to quote from that piece of shit ever again.