What to expect from this offseason's acquisitions going forward
Posted: Fri May 10, 2024 8:10 pm
GARVER: "Hey, here's a great idea, let's sign the guy who's the worst hitter in the history of T-Mobile Park!" I swear, some of the swings he takes look like they're coming from some hobo they pulled out of the stands who's trying to grab the ladder on a boxcar going 93 MPH. We were never going to get the 2023 version of Garver and we're not even going to get the 2022 version (OPS .702). On the bright side, he's hitting .156 higher (.156) at T-Mobile than he was coming into this season.
HANIGER: whose brilliant idea was it to reacquire him? He's 33, crippled by injuries, was clearly on the decline, and we're lucky we're even getting 2023 production from him...except that he's also one of the worst defensive outfielders in the game. I'd anticipate him staying on his present pace for the entire season unless (or more specifically, when) he gets injured again. We should have kept Robbie Ray, or at most traded him for someone not for the purpose of a "happy reunion".
POLANCO: three off-seasons in a row we've acquired a good second baseman and watched them all completely wilt in a Mariner uniform. This has to be the first time in MLB history that something like this has ever happened to a franchise at any position on the field other than pitcher. That Polanco is on pace to strike out almost 100 times more than his career worst 118 is unfathomable, you can't make this shit up. And I've noticed that he can't hit fastballs at all. I think he won't stay as bad as he is, but we're definitely not going to end up with what the Twins had. I'm thinking .210-.220 with 15-20 home runs.
RALEY: Puke and his .603 OPS who swings at everything. He should be better than this. Or maybe he's just going to end up with a Daniel Vogelbach-type of career where he lives off of one great half-season. I just don't know what to predict for this guy although I'm optimistic that he'll actually be a decent player. Let's go with that.
URIAS: his career pretty much ended in 2023 and not much has changed. He's hit a few home runs and that's about it. He'll likely maintain his present pace throughout his one and only season as a Mariner.
ZAVALA: how does this guy have 14 career home runs when every ball he's knocked the shit out of this season has ended up in the left fielder's glove? We actually decided we'd rather have him than Tom Murphy, although Murph has been even worse for the Giants. I'd be surprised if by the end of this season Zavala's still our backup catcher.
HANIGER: whose brilliant idea was it to reacquire him? He's 33, crippled by injuries, was clearly on the decline, and we're lucky we're even getting 2023 production from him...except that he's also one of the worst defensive outfielders in the game. I'd anticipate him staying on his present pace for the entire season unless (or more specifically, when) he gets injured again. We should have kept Robbie Ray, or at most traded him for someone not for the purpose of a "happy reunion".
POLANCO: three off-seasons in a row we've acquired a good second baseman and watched them all completely wilt in a Mariner uniform. This has to be the first time in MLB history that something like this has ever happened to a franchise at any position on the field other than pitcher. That Polanco is on pace to strike out almost 100 times more than his career worst 118 is unfathomable, you can't make this shit up. And I've noticed that he can't hit fastballs at all. I think he won't stay as bad as he is, but we're definitely not going to end up with what the Twins had. I'm thinking .210-.220 with 15-20 home runs.
RALEY: Puke and his .603 OPS who swings at everything. He should be better than this. Or maybe he's just going to end up with a Daniel Vogelbach-type of career where he lives off of one great half-season. I just don't know what to predict for this guy although I'm optimistic that he'll actually be a decent player. Let's go with that.
URIAS: his career pretty much ended in 2023 and not much has changed. He's hit a few home runs and that's about it. He'll likely maintain his present pace throughout his one and only season as a Mariner.
ZAVALA: how does this guy have 14 career home runs when every ball he's knocked the shit out of this season has ended up in the left fielder's glove? We actually decided we'd rather have him than Tom Murphy, although Murph has been even worse for the Giants. I'd be surprised if by the end of this season Zavala's still our backup catcher.