Joan's Horse Jokes Thread

[Coeurd’Alene J]

A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. In front of him he see's a big jar full of change and a little card that reads: "Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh. COST $5" So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Two minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor. So the guy takes the money and leaves. The next day the same guy walks in the bar again and see's the horse and the jar, this time it says: "You can win all of this if you make the horse cry. COST $10" So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Four minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had. So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks "How did you do that?" The guy says "The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him!"

[D-train]

A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. In front of him he see's a big jar full of change and a little card that reads: "Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh. COST $5" So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Two minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor. So the guy takes the money and leaves. The next day the same guy walks in the bar again and see's the horse and the jar, this time it says: "You can win all of this if you make the horse cry. COST $10" So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Four minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had. So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks "How did you do that?" The guy says "The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him!"

I was that guy!!!!

[Coeurd’Alene J]

A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. In front of him he see's a big jar full of change and a little card that reads: "Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh. COST $5" So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Two minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor. So the guy takes the money and leaves. The next day the same guy walks in the bar again and see's the horse and the jar, this time it says: "You can win all of this if you make the horse cry. COST $10" So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Four minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had. So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks "How did you do that?" The guy says "The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him!"

I was that guy!!!!

[maoling]

A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. In front of him he see's a big jar full of change and a little card that reads: "Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh. COST $5" So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Two minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor. So the guy takes the money and leaves. The next day the same guy walks in the bar again and see's the horse and the jar, this time it says: "You can win all of this if you make the horse cry. COST $10" So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Four minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had. So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks "How did you do that?" The guy says "The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him!"

I was that guy!!!!

I hope that alleged equine endowment doesn't cause you any problems with TSA at the airport, DT.

A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted, without prior experience or lessons.
She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
Out of sheer terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup.

She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager, runs out to unplug the horse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IANwOnvTadU

[Coeurd’Alene J]

A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. In front of him he see's a big jar full of change and a little card that reads: "Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh. COST $5" So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Two minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor. So the guy takes the money and leaves. The next day the same guy walks in the bar again and see's the horse and the jar, this time it says: "You can win all of this if you make the horse cry. COST $10" So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Four minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had. So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks "How did you do that?" The guy says "The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him!"

I was that guy!!!!

I hope that alleged equine endowment doesn't cause you any problems with TSA at the airport, DT.

A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted, without prior experience or lessons.
She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
Out of sheer terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup.

She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager, runs out to unplug the horse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IANwOnvTadU

Fucking lol. Oh lord the best blond joke in a long while

[maoling]

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a horse sitting next to him. “Are you a horse?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The horse replied, “Well, I liked the book.”

[maoling]

You got banned too? What was your indiscretion?

Maoling and I got caught committing the ultimate crime - making jokes on Joan "The Horse Forum Nazi"' precious horse thread. Hence - we can mock her and her laziness on here.

So...

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Joan's Giraffes.

WHERE IS MAOLING??

We didn't do anything that wrong either. It's just that horse girls have zero sense of humor.

All we did was ask a few questions like,

"Do you think Mr. Ed really could talk, or was he just faking?"

"When Lady Godiva rode naked through Coventry, do you think she gave the horse cooties?"

Just for that bit of mirth feckin' Joan bucked us off the boards. We had to kiss her ass to get reinstated. It was humiliating to have her mount us like that.

[D-train]

Horse walks into a bar an asks the Bartender about a job. Bartender says, "No, why don't you try the Circus?"

Horse says, "Why in the hell would the Circus need a Bartender?"

[maoling]

Horse walks into a bar an asks the Bartender about a job. Bartender says, "No, why don't you try the Circus?"

Horse says, "Why in the hell would the Circus need a Bartender?"

That's some shit! Joan Deutsch would have nuked you for that!

[maoling]

This isn't a horse joke but it still cracks me up.

Cricket player Glen McGrath was facing the rotund Eddo Brandes, a hefty guy.

McGrath called out to him, "Why are you so fat, Eddo?

"Because every time I fuck your wife, she gives me a biscuit."



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