Joan's Horse Jokes Thread

[auroraave]

This isn't a horse joke but it still cracks me up.

Cricket player Glen McGrath was facing the rotund Eddo Brandes, a hefty guy.

McGrath called out to him, "Why are you so fat, Eddo?

"Because every time I fuck your wife, she gives me a biscuit."



https://www.indiatoday.com.au/yourstory ... ledges.htm

https://static.sportskeeda.com/wp-conte ... 998197.jpg

I think I can top that... via Anthony Jeselnik. This is an all time classic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOfLa5q ... allyInsane

[maoling]

That's hilarious. I've never heard of him!

[auroraave]

That's hilarious. I've never heard of him!

He has two specials on Netflix - they are hilarious! You'll appreciate the construction of his jokes - very crafty, and never what you expect. Fire in the Maternity Ward is the newest I believe - yo gotta see it, He did another one up in the Bay area and it's damn funny too.

[maoling]

More sledging from the world of cricket, where taunting is never penalized lol.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMb8LCJYZ-4

[maoling]

Even Joan might like this one:

A guy is walking through the country when he spots a sign that reads, “Talking Horse for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks up to the stable to check it out.

“So what have you done with your life?” he asks the horse.

“I’ve led a full life,” the horse answers miraculously. “I was born in The Andes where I herded for an entire village. Years later, I joined the mounted police force in New York and helped keep the city clean. And now, I spend my days giving free rides to underprivileged kids here in the country.”

The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the horse’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of such an incredible animal?”

The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”

[auroraave]

It's Christmas Eve in NYC. A wealthy banker jumps into a cab outside a famous jewelry store. He notices the cabbie looks very poor.
Cabbie: "Last minute shopping?"
Banker: "Yeah. I got my wife a beautiful diamond necklace, but she has so much jewelry already, I'm not sure she'll like it."
Cabbie: "Wow, lucky lady."
Banker: "Yeah. I bought her a beautiful horse, too. I guess if she doesn't like the necklace, she can ride it to the store to return it. What about you? I see a ring on your finger. You take care if the missus?"
Cabbie: "It's been a tough year financially, but yeah, I did the best I could."
Banker: "Do tell."
Cabbie: "I bought her a pair of slippers and a dildo."
Banker: "Whoa, why the dildo?"
Cabbie: "Because if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."

[maoling]

Little cowboy runs into a Bar and angrily shouts "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?"

A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?"

"No," says the little cowboy, "I just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"

[maoling]

It's Christmas Eve in NYC. A wealthy banker jumps into a cab...

Dear aurora,

That's the best dildo joke I've ever heard, and you even included a horse to stay on-topic and mostly within The Seattle Times posting guidelines.

Nonetheless, I have temporarily nuked you and maoling and suspended your accounts. I will reactivate your accounts with an apology and a little more respect for horses and dildos.

Stay Gold, Ponyboy.

Fondly,

Joan Deutsch

[auroraave]

It's Christmas Eve in NYC. A wealthy banker jumps into a cab...

Dear aurora,

That's the best dildo joke I've ever heard, and you even included a horse to stay on-topic and mostly within The Seattle Times posting guidelines.

Nonetheless, I have temporarily nuked you and maoling and suspended your accounts. I will reactivate your accounts with an apology and a little more respect for horses and dildos.

Stay Gold, Ponyboy.

Fondly,

Joan Deutsch

hahaha - that's amazing. you forgot to CC the fact checkers to confirm full compliance with the current necessary narratives.

Dude _ i know how disillusioned you are with the media - so this is for you - take 10 minutes and watch - and your hope will return.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCcKXz1 ... ssellBrand

[D-train]